Thoughtless Thankfulness (say that 10 times!)

So this morning I had a random feeling of overwhelming thankfulness for my wife (Sara).  And yeah...I know that shouldn't be such a random thing, but I can be thoughtless with the best (worst?) of them.  Anyway, I try to struggle against the idea of setting her up as an idol, but she definitely impacts my life more than any other single person.  And I guess that makes sense!  I love my kids and extended family deeply, but all of that is eclipsed by what I feel for Sara.

But why?  It may be a trivial question...but here it is...why are we thankful for the people that surround us?  Or more importantly, why do we love the people we love?  It's easy to focus on how someone looks, or what they do for us, or whatever...but most of that is really tied to narcissism, right? 

Saw this recently in the book Untamed (which you shouldn't read unless you want regular kicks in the gut in a good way)...a quote from Susan Hope...she's talking about what went down during Jesus' baptism:

This is the start of the public ministry, the kick-start to all that follows.  And it is kick-started with a word, not about the mission, but about being a son, and being greatly beloved.  And not only greatly beloved, but greatly delighted in - "with you I am well pleased" - carrying not so much the meaning "I'm pleased with you (because you've done a good job/obeyed me/you've met my demands)" as, "You delight me; I enjoy you; I like what I see."

  One of the things I've told Sara over the years is that I love her because I said I would.  And while it should be obvious, I'll clarify that this is NOT the most romantic thing I've ever said.  But to me it's the essence of marriage and family.  We choose to love (not just stay with) the stunning, the ugly, the perfect, the flawed, the selfless, and even the destructive people that surround us based on a promise.  We choose to delight in THEM and not what they do for us. 

So I'm completely thankful for the fact that Sara is amazingly beautiful...that she pours herself into me and our kids every day...that she puts up with me dragging her to things that she'd rather skip (or into this blog).  But I love her...I delight in her because she is mine as I am hers...because she is.

Now if we could only apply that idea...not just to our spouses, but to everyone around us.  How awesome would that be?

That is all...go look at something else now...

Random thoughts...

Ok...so I've had several random thougts/ideas/whatever rattling around my head the last few days, but I can't seem to take the time to sit down and develop them into coherent 'blogs'.  So instead, I'll present three unrelated ideas now...underdeveloped but still powerful (I think).  So here you go...
  
1 - The whole Chick-fil-A thing got me thinking about the future of our country, the dynamics of what we call 'family' and the Church.  Regardless of anyone's personal beliefs, I think it's likely that the government will (at some point) overturn the Defense of Marriage Act and embrace some form of same-sex marriage.  A crucial question, at that point, is how do Christians (and the Church as a whole) respond to same-sex couples?  While several denominations have accepted ongoing homosexuality, it's difficult to reconcile it with the Bible.  As it stands, if a heterosexual couple were living together and came to faith in Christ, they'd probably be encouraged to either get married, break off the relationship, or stop living together.  But what if it's a same-sex couple that is legally married?  Does the church encourage a divorce?  And what if children are involved?  I have no great answers...but I think we (Christians) are failing if we're not considering the implications of our changing society.

2 - I was reading a magazine the other day and a deep thought popped out at me from an unlikely source.  Santi White (also known as Santigold) said this: "I think the current American Dream is to achieve fame, status and/or riches with the least possible effort or skill...pretty much to blow up quick by any means. It used to be about earning success through hard work and having the opportunity to learn the skills you need to become the best at what you do. I think there is a problem when we live in a society where the end justifies the means. That is a very dangerous concept—on so many levels. And in the process, we’re becoming a nation of idiots.” 

Now it's easy to make this political, but I'm not going there.  Instead, I'll tie it to something Sara and I have discussed recently.  Most of us (at least those of us under 50) have been given WAY more than we've ever earned.  I think that has created in us the idea that if we want something, then we should just be able to get it without any real work.  I know I'm regularly guilty of that in the workplace, but even more so in my personal relationships.  Fairly frequently, I don't even know what I really want until I'm pissed that it didn't happen...and yes, all of that is idiotic.  How much better would we be as individuals, families and communities if we actually put thought into goals and then worked to meet those goals?

3 - This is pretty awesome, but requires a bit of confession on my part.  So I don't really like praying most of the time.  I 'know' that God is there for me, but I struggle on a real level with the concept that he actually interacts with us (or acts directly in response to our prayers).  Reminds me of something our pastor says pretty regularly: "most Christians are educated way beyond their level of obedience." 

So anyway, this morning I was making coffee before sitting down to 'spend some time with God.'  So I'm in the kitchen talking to God about the fact that I really don't want to pray today...and yes, I recognize the irony of this scene.  Basically, I said "It just feels like I'm talking to myself most of the time...why don't you ever answer?  And don't tell me that you answer through the Bible, because that's BS."  Anyway, I grab my cereal and cofee and sit down to read...and Romans 8:26 slapped me.  It says "For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words."
 
Seriously!?! 

While this was a major punch in the gut, it also was amazingly comforting.  While I may continue to struggle with prayer...I can rest in the fact that God's plan included the fact that I wouldn't always be able to pray like I should.


Ok...this is more of a book than I thought it would be, but there you go.  Buh-bye now...

Really Delicious Chicken

Did you hear that the Chick-fil-A cows hate gay people?  They not only want to encourage the murder of countless chickens...they also want to prevent loving same-sex couples from enjoying the 'rights' of marriage!!!


So...maybe sarcasm isn't welcome in this subject, but it's pretty much how I roll...


If you haven't heard, in a recent interview, the president of Chick-fil-A discussed their WinShape program.  This program has several different facets, but one is directly focused at preparing for, strengthening or saving marriages.  During this discussion, Mr. Cathy mentioned that his company supports a traditional and Biblical view of marriage.  So obviously, the mascots hate gay people...


And many have determined that they must be stopped.  There have been articles and news stories bashing Chick-fil-A for their so-called 'family' values.  The Jim Henson Company has cut ties with them, and both Chicago and Boston are now attempting to block the opening of new Chick-fil-A restaurants in their cities.  The Boston mayor even said that having one of the franchises in town would be an "insult" to the city.  


So here's my question - Why does anybody care what Dan Cathy thinks?!?!  The man runs a company that sells chicken...really (seriously) delicious chicken!!!  He doesn't shape U.S. policy in ANY way!  And at what point did it become 'evil' or even 'socially unacceptable' for a person to have a belief or viewpoint different from someone else's?  Would anybody care if the situation was flipped...if the CEO of United Airlines came out and said they were in favor of a woman's right to choose and would be donating to Planned Parenthood?  Some people might freak out or boycott or whatever, but odds are, most people wouldn't care.  It's their company, they can do what they want with their money...and it makes sense that they'd donate in ways that fall in line with what they support as a company.


Here's the deal...the Bible is pretty clear about a bunch of stuff that's unpopular.  Yes, it teaches that homosexual behavior is wrong.  But it also says that ANY sex outside of marriage is wrong, and nobody is saying that Dan Cathy is a bigot because he doesn't want to 'support' swinging or premarital sexual relationships.  


And ultimately, do Christians really believe that the government gets to define marriage?  I don't...my union with Sara may be recognized by the government and I may enjoy some 'rights' associated with that, but our marriage has everything to do with our relationship in the eyes of God (NOT the state).


So to wrap this book up...develop your beliefs how you see fit.  If you want to use culture, or a holy book, or nature, or a weird mix of whatever, go nuts!  To quote my Dad, "we all have every right to be wrong."  And yes, every one of us believes some things that are probably completely off base.  But let's acknowledge that all of us have a right to hold fast to the beliefs dear to us even in the face of religious or societal crusades.


As for me, if you want my take on Magic Mike, dispensational theology, politics, or even gay marriage, I welcome pretty much any respectful discussion.  But I'd prefer to have that discussion while enjoying an amazing chicken sandwich, waffle fries and a sweet tea.

Full Heart

Recently (maybe the past few years), there's been a push for those of us that follow Christ to pray for a 'heart that breaks for the things that break the heart of God.'  Don't know if this phrase started with Hillsong United, or if it started somewhere else and Hillsong pulled it in for their song Hosanna (watch the video HERE).  Either way, it's a pretty awesome idea (or maybe ideal)...but I'm not really sure it's practical.  


Before I get attacked for disagreeing with Hillsong (blasphemy?), let me explain a bit.  I absolutely agree that we should never choose to overlook injustice, poverty or the sin in our own lives.  But can you imagine if we could even begin to grasp the unbelievable sadness we'd embrace if we wept for everything that breaks the heart of God?  I never really thought about this until this morning...


So I've been reading Uncle Tom's Cabin.  I know, I know...I probably should've read this in 7th grade or something.  But I didn't, so I'm doing it now...and it's an amazing book so far.  Anyway, there's a part where a man is explaining how he owns slaves despite his belief that slavery is horribly immoral...and he says that "the best we an do is to shut our eyes and ears, and let it alone."  He also said that "if we are to be prying and spying into all the dismals of life, we should have no heart to anything."  


Here are my thoughts from that...maybe we weren't designed to be able to comprehend everything that breaks the heart of God.  Maybe instead we've all been given (in Christ) a measure of compassion for those in need that we encounter and passion for certain 'greater' areas of service.  My friend Adam Taylor, for example, couldn't pass by the boys we met in Ethiopia...he was given a passion to involve himself directly and completely in their lives.  But if Adam was constantly overwhelmed with the evil of human trafficking in Greece or the persecution of the Church in China, he probably wouldn't get much done.  I'm not saying we should 'shut our eyes and ears' to the areas outside our passions, but maybe we should acknowledge that ultimately, it's God's job to fix everything (not ours)...and maybe he uses our passions to direct our actions.


So my prayer is that God would break my heart where he wants it broken.  Also, and maybe more importantly, I pray that he'd give me joy in the things that delight him.  How awesome would that be if we could look around this world not just with an eye and heart that discovers and embraces pain, but with an eye and heart for the beauty, love and grace that he's poured into everything that surrounds us.  That may just overwhelm us, but it would be truly amazing...

What's So Good About Grief?

Good Grief!, by Erica McNeal, is a great book that I'd recommend for anyone.  More specifically, I'd say it's a reference manual for dealing with grief either personally or in the lives of friends and loved ones.  

This can be a bit of a hard book to read...primarily due to the subject matter.  Most of us don't normally look for opportunities to get cozy and read a book about the crushing grief that can come from cancer, the loss of a child, and the sting of careless words.  But unfortunately, most of us will need the perspective and advice Erica offers in this book.  

Erica tells her story with honesty and vulnerability.  For those in a season of grief, she discusses her fight with guilt surrounding the tragic loss of her daughter and the hypocritical words and actions of Christians in her life when she most needed friendship and comfort.  But then she outlines the amazing hope that comes from knowing our God who "reveals His desire to relate to our own human brokenness."  

Unfortunately, I've lived life with friends that lost a child...and honestly, I disengaged because I didn't know what else to do.  Erica's book would've been an invaluable resource.  For those (like me) who struggle with knowing how to respond to the grief of others, she offers crucial recommendations for what (and what not) to say and do.  Here are a couple things that stuck out for me:

        -  Telling someone to call if they need anything isn't helpful.  Cleaning their house or taking their kids out for something fun...much better plan.

        -  It may not always be a good idea to quote scripture at someone when they're grieving...your take on God's plan for them may not be welcome just then.  Also, asking a cancer patient about weight changes or baldness probably isn't great either (really...that needs to be said?).  

        -  Prayer IS an action...pray for them!  Erica thoughtfully provides specific ways to pray for and talk to loved ones that need you now more than ever.

So...to wrap up...go buy this book (Click HERE)!  It offers grace and hope in the face of tragedy and wisdom when it's needed most.

Bedtime Prayers

So last night I got really frustrated while trying to pray with my kids before bedtime.  Here I am trying to thank God for everything in our lives and teach them how to pray...


meanwhile Justin is crawling on top of me while Kate is watching birds eating at the feeder we have in the back yard.  So I snapped a bit...prayer time was over and bed time started.  I know, I know, I'm the best dad ever (ok, maybe second best), right?  But it's hard for kids, especially American kids whose parents give them everything they could possibly need, to imagine that they really need to be thankful for all that God provides.  And is it really easier for us?


Not looking to make this a summary of the sermons at NCC, but I'm going to go ahead and reference this past week anyway.  


So...Lysa TerKeurst spoke on how our reactions determine our reach.  It was awesome...go watch it HERE.  But what most hit me was a story she told about her son (adopted from Liberia).  This boy was an orphan who lived on one meal a day, walked a long distance to school and was ostracized by the kids with families when he got there.  


He didn't have much to be thankful for.  But one day someone picked him out of a crowd and told him to stand and tell everyone what he thanked God for.  There was nothing that this kid could say without lying...what could he be thankful for...his life?  That wasn't anything to be excited about...his life pretty much sucked.  The one meal of rice that he was getting for the day?


So instead, this amazing boy started singing.  He praised God and worshipped him with a song...not because of what he has done, but because of who he IS.  


This is huge.  I've spent alot of time teaching my kids to pray...giving them examples of blessings, things and situations that they could thank God for.  That's not bad...but it's so incomplete.  If all we focus on is what he's done for us (like thanking a genie), what do we do when we don't believe there's anything to thank God for?  Even in those situations where everything I hold dear is falling apart, I want to be able to thank God and praise him for who he is.  That is worship in spirit and in truth.




Side note...the day after Lysa's son stood up an sang a song, another kid did the same thing (and her son joined in), and it grew every day.  After a while, their singing caught the ear of someone who was visiting and they started traveling around the world to sing and raise awareness about the needs of orphans.  Because of one song...one fumbling attempt at worship in the face of despair...many families have had the chance to grow in size, faith and love through adoption.

Burn The Fleet

The old flag will burn with the sail
And a new one won't fly if we fail
But the fire continues to rise
And it shows not a hint of any fear in our eyes


Burn the fleet, we can never go home
It's on to victory or under ground
Burn the fleet, we'll be heroes or ghosts
But we won't be turned around


The lyrics above are from one of my favorite songs...Burn the Fleet by Thrice.  Sadly, I had no clue about the historical basis of the lyrics until this past Sunday.  It's a bit of a crazy story...


So here's the deal.  Hernando Cortez wanted to conquer the Aztec capitol, but the loyalty of his men in the face of danger was questionable.  So he burned his ships...destroying the possibility of retreat or escape.  


So at church we had the chance to hear from John & Eli Tiller.  I didn't know anything about the Tiller family, but please check out their story HERE.  The main point of John's talk was that we need to destroy the connections that tie us to a life without God.  Only be doing that can we find hope in him and him alone.  


Easy to say...so insanely hard to do sometimes.  But why?


I'm not sure about most people, but I think I struggle with this mostly because I don't believe that God's plan is more important than mine.  That's hard to write because I really do believe that God has this beautiful and amazing plan for us as individuals, families and nations.  But I can admit that I don't really want my family or friends (or me individually) to suffer in any way to further that plan...where's the good in that (for me!!)?  


So instead of trusting God fully and completely, we build safety nets and false security under the premise that we can step up when God decides to fail us (in our estimation).  And when difficulty or tragedy strikes, we care much more about using everything at our disposal to get out of that situation than we do about looking for what God may be doing through it or just growing in faith through it all.


If our plan (or script as John Tiller put it) is the most important thing to us, then we'll continue to live in this way.  If tragedy strikes, we'll find ways of convincing ourselves that this cannot be what God wants for us...as if our comfort, or even our life, is the most important thing to him.  However, if we can embrace the idea that God is sovereign and his ways and plans (even those that crush us) are good, then we can be shaped by that plan.


So if you can accept that God is good and his plans are perfect, then burn the ships.

A Day to Celebrate?

It was a year ago (in a couple days) that Special Forces rolled into a compound in Pakistan and took out one of the most infamous men of our time.  People all over the world celebrated his death (or mourned it, depending on their persuasion).  At the time, I wasn't sure what I felt about all this...I was glad that Bin Laden no longer posed a threat and I felt like justice had been served, but I struggled with the idea of celebrating the death of any person (regardless of his actions).

So today, I read a random interview (click the link! it's a good interview!) with Aaron Weiss from one of my favorite bands (mewithoutYou).  I don't agree with everything said in the interview (or even in the part I'm putting below), but I definitely think it gave me something to think about, so I thought it was worth sharing.  So in my regular trend of plagiarism, here's Aaron Weiss:

I don’t know anything about who Osama Bin Laden [was.] I don’t understand any of it. But I can go inside and find that there are terrorists in my heart. I could find all sorts of extremists and religious fanatics and murderers and hiders. But to point and say “He’s the bad guy because he did that, I’m a good guy.” Well, it would undermine everything we were talking about earlier.

You say, “We’re all one, let’s all hold hands and have a potluck.” It’s easy to say when everyone’s getting along. But when somebody murders your family, are you one with them? Are you one with the murderer? Are you one with the terrorist? Are you one with the religious fanatic?

It seems like that’s where the line is drawn. “No, no, nope. That’s not me. I would never do that. I’m not like Osama Bin Laden, I’m not like… a pedophile or serial killer.” Or any other sleazy character you could imagine. It’s very easy to keep them on the outside and make ourselves somehow better. But the sword comes and cuts that too. There’s nothing that anyone’s ever done that you wouldn’t do. There’s no one that you’re better than.

I think that last line is an epic kick in the gut...there's no one that any of us is better than.  So did Osama get what was coming to him?  Probably.  But I'm really grateful for the ridiculous mercy that God offers every one of us...even those of us who are not such obvious monsters.

Spectacular Liars

Let me just preface this with the fact that I’m writing this with a (probably un)healthy level of frustration with myself and others.  Just something that's been simmering for...a while.  But here we go anyway…

One of the common criticisms used against any church or religion is that there are a ton of hypocrites.  And we, the church, need to be quick and ready to respond with strong agreement!  We, both corporately and as individuals, regularly show that we can easily ignore the principles of the faith that we claim.  But I honestly believe that our hypocrisy is rarely tied to the fact that we publicly act in ways that we condemn.  Instead, I think our hypocrisy is tied to the fact that we are such spectacular liars…

In our culture, image is everything…and our religious subculture is no different.  I go to work and try to look busy (even when I’m not).  We go to church and try to look like we’ve got it all together…that we’re living our lives dedicated to God when most of the time we care, more than anything, about satisfying our personal desires (and our ‘religion’ is part of that).  And this hypocrisy is completely in conflict with what we’ve been called to in Christ! 

Most people would probably say that Paul had some of the greatest impact (other than Jesus) on the shape of Christian faith.  But Paul called himself the ‘chief’ of sinners…he wrote out descriptions of his sin and publicly admitted that he struggled against his desires.  James told us to confess our sins to each other, but do we really welcome confession?  Derek Webb (probably not up there with Paul and James, but whatever) once said that the best thing for all of us would be if our sins were broadcast on the 5 o’clock news.  But imagine if Ted Haggard had gone to the elders of his church (or, gasp! the entire congregation) and confessed that he was being tempted to give in to his desire for drugs and extra-marital sex.  You’d hope that they would pray with and for him…that they would beg for God to heal him and give him strength and a renewed desire for what is good.  But odds are, it would’ve spread out through the gossip network and the ‘righteous’ would’ve step forward to pass judgment. 

No wonder people say ‘screw it’ and go big once they’ve crossed the line from temptation into action!!!  They know there’s nothing but negativity ahead, so why not try and get some fleeting pleasure while they still can?  They (and we) have tied their identity so tightly to their failure that they see no way out.

For some reason, we’ve decided to allow actions (missteps or good deeds…either way) to define us and the people around us.  I know the Bible talks about knowing someone by their 'fruit', but doesn’t our personal identity come from our standing in Christ?  If Jesus came and died so that we could be seen as righteous in the eyes of the Father, what makes the way we see ourselves or others so important?  My holiness is NOT defined by my actions!!!!  And your perception of my holiness borders on irrelevant unless I’m intentionally causing others to stumble.  Instead of passing judgment on those that are not living up to certain standards (or are even living in open rebellion), shouldn’t we approach them with love and a readiness to admit our own failures…our own weakness? 

A lot of churches have tried to do this with ‘accountability’ groups, and some of them do a great job.  But some of the time, they (again) shift the focus towards our behavior instead of the state of our heart or our faith.   Over time, this just encourages a front all over again…or (maybe) worse, it encourages changes in behavior while the heart stays the same.  And this goes back to the first lie…that we can do this on our own…that we don’t need God.  Reminds me of another Derek Webb line – “I’ll clean up this act and be worse than when we started.” 

I think that’ll do.  As an aside, I realize that I tend to rage against the machines that we’ve built.  But this in no way indicates that I want to tear people down…I believe we need to see ourselves for who we are (if it’s just me, then I guess I’m WAY off base…sorry?).  We need to beg God to heal us, tear apart the lies that we believe and propagate, and give us a true faith that is focused on him instead of us.  But despite all that, I love the country that I get to serve.  I love the family that God uses to bless and challenge me every day.  And I love the ‘dysfunctional family’ that makes up the spectacularly beautiful body of Christ (to steal a quote from my friend Bobby with a capital ‘B’). 

Ok…that’ll do for real.

Christian Nation...not so much

A few posts ago, I got on a rant about the idea that America is or is not a Christian nation.  I ended up focusing on Christians (and our hypocrisy), but another concept has been rattling around in my skull the past couple days.  It's this...Can a nation truly be Christian? 

To fully unpack this idea, I probably need to define (for myself) the words Christian and nation...what do they really mean?  Most people would say that Christian means 'like Christ' or 'a follower of Christ.'  So the common American viewpoint that we're all Christians because we believe in God and lead generally moral lives is...ummm...wrong.  If Jesus was here today, he would probably be treated much like he was in his day.  Those who saw their need for a savior would flock to him.  Most of us that believe we're doing ok on our own would probably judge him.  And all the while he would be talking about (and living out) sacrifice...giving of himself until there was nothing left (***See sidebar below).  I'm not going to give the definition of nation (should be pretty straightforward), but nationalism is a concept that is a bit more tricky.  Nationalism is the pursuit of a nation's interests, separate from (or at the expense of) other interests. 

So...what does this have to do with anything?  Give me a couple minutes and I'll try to bring this around...

Recently, there's been a ton of discussion on Capitol Hill about US intervention in Syria (or other nations) to put a stop to violence.  Also, in the last few days (weeks?), the KONY 2012 video has swept across Facebook.  Now this video may be propaganda that ignores the efforts of the African nations that want to take care of their own issues.  It may be emotional manipulation or a host of other negative things.  But 2 weeks ago, most of the people on Facebook had no clue who Joseph Kony was...at least now there's a recognition that he's systematically destroying the lives of thousands of children in Uganda, S. Sudan, and other surrounding nations.  And one major criticism is right...clicking 'Like' on a Facebook page isn't 'doing something.'  But signing a Congressional petition for greater US involvement is something...but do we really want our country involved in a hunt for Kony?

Now in general, I'm a non-interventionist.  I'm pretty sure we would've been pretty pissed if Great Britain would've tried to shell the Union forces that burned Atlanta...it was none of their business, right?  A good friend recently shared a quote from John Quincy Adams that I thought was pretty great stuff (see 1821 Independence Day Address here).  But the thing is, my nationalism is what drives my views on interventionism.  Because let's be honest...most of our attempts at involving ourselves in the struggles of other nations haven't really done much for our national interests.  If we jump into Syria or increase our involvement in the hunt for Kony, it will be because of public pressure on politicians (read: I want to serve another term)...not because it's in America's best interests. 

However, if I look at our nation as a tool I can use to serve other people in a Christ-like manner, then it changes everything.  Suddenly, we have to consider the fact that we should be doing even more in foreign aid and doing more to halt injustice...even at the expense of our nation's interests.  So...to try and bring it around...if we claim that we're a Christian nation, then we're claiming that our nation is willing to sacrifice itself (completely) to meet the needs of others.  And let's be honest...that's just not going to happen. 

So I'm not saying that we need to hunt Kony or take over Syria or anything like that.  I don't know the right answers to those questions.  My point is that words matter...and the phrase 'Christian nation' is an oxymoron.  We, as individuals, need to examine where our loyalty lies.  I believe that Christians must choose to follow either our King or our nation...not both.  How that choice plays out in your own life is up to you, but if our faith is tied to the success of capitalism or representational democracy, then we're in for disappointment.

***Ok, I'll try to keep this sidebar short because I've written a book. 
It's always interesting to me when I hear others (or myself) use the phrase 'haven't I done enough?'  Most of the times that I use it, I'm just frustrated that some charitable organization keeps sending me annoying junk mail.  But I really believe that the use of that phrase identifies a basic misunderstanding of the gospel.  It means that we see giving, or charity work, or whatever, as a means of checking off a list towards meeting a standard of 'righteousness.'  But this is in direct conflict with the grace offered through Jesus.  There is no checklist...we're already righteous.  And we're given the chance to find joy in pouring out everything in love for Christ.  Not many of us would say 'haven't I done enough?' if our kids needed us to take them to the doctor tomorrow.  We'd give up our time, our money, our everything, if necessary, because we love them completely.  Should our love for God be something less?

Ok...that'll do.

Tough Question

Last night, I got hit with an extremely tough question...


A woman told me, with tears in her eyes, that in a couple weeks it will be one year since her dad died.  In the discussion, she asked me what happened to him...where he is.  She said that he did not believe in Jesus...


Before I could even answer, she said 'I know where he is because God is fair, right?  The Bible says God is fair, right?'  This is the difficult and painful flip side of the first quote that I posted last time.  It's easy to have deep thoughts about sovereignty or whatever when someone isn't pleading with you for confirmation that a loved one is in heaven.


How do you answer this question...can you do it with both truth and love?

Deep thoughts by Michael S. Horton

I was reading an article today that covered some pretty deep stuff...because that's how I roll sometimes.  So I'm plagiarizing a couple thoughts from Michael S. Horton because I thought they were awesome.  Here goes:


"Regardless  of compelling logic, the only test of truth is consistency with the Scripture.  We can't begin with a philosophical idea of divine sovereignty or human freedom and then cherry-pick our favorite verses."


This one is an epic smack down to the arrogance that most of us show on a regular basis...


"It's amazing - a theology that says we only know God because He has revealed and given Himself to us by grace can be turned into a self-righteous assertion of our own discovery."


Ok...that'll do for the deep thoughts...I'm out.

I'm not dead yet!

So I realize that I dropped a really depressing post and then disappeared.  Had all the best intentions to come back later and talk about all kinds of really amazing stuff (no, really! but I've forgotten it all now), but never did.  So just to sum up...all is pretty ok now.  And by ok I mean really great in a 'see yourself for who you really are' sense.  We've had some prayers that were directly answered even if the answering was painful.  I've been challenged through personal experiences and some really awesome sermons (Mark Driscoll) to be a better friend to Sara and leader for my family.  I've also recognized a tendency to compartmentalize pretty much every part of my life...God is over here but nowhere else...work is just a way to make a living...and on and on.  So yeah...lately I've been challenged and here's hoping that someday soon I can look back and see that this was a great time for me and the relationships that I value most.


On a completely different note, I recently posted this picture on facebook:

Now I probably should've foreseen the discussions that followed but I didn't expect the in-depth analysis that far exceeds my capability...I think they're great discussions, but I figured I'd put out my point of view here instead of continuing the comment thread.  Of course, it might happen here now, but that's totally fine too.  But anyway, I struggle with where exactly I stand in the political spectrum for exactly the point raised in Colbert's statement (among others).  First, I think that a nation is the sum of the individuals that make it up...if the majority of Americans are humanists (probably accurate despite what we claim), then we're a humanist nation despite our Christian heritage.  


To cater to some of my libertarian leanings, I think it's absolutely wrong to force people to do charity.  And yes, I believe that government-run welfare programs are charities funded by taxes that are taken forcibly.  Like a good friend of mine has said: just try not paying your taxes sometime.  But I think it's total BS that those of us who call ourselves Christians find it so easy to ignore people who are truly in need.  If the Church (I mean believers in Christ, not any one specific church or denomination) would step up and give away even the minimum (10% of our income under most doctrinal or Biblical interpretations), then poverty as we know it would be virtually extinct.  So if there are still people in need (financially or otherwise), and I'm still intentionally sitting around ignoring them and not even doing the minimum that's 'expected' of me, then how can I as an individual call myself a Christian (in the 'like Christ' sense)?  And if my problem is multiplied across our nation, then can we really call ourselves a Christian nation?  So to round up my soapbox here...if the Church was doing it's job, there would be no need for government-run welfare programs and the Republicans and Libertarians could all quit complaining.  I know I'm over-simplifying the solution, but is this really all that hard?


Ok...I gotta stop because this is way over the top preachy.  I'm not better than anybody else...I'd much rather get a new iPod than buy groceries for people I barely know.  But I think that we all need to be willing to recognize the idiocy of the way we act sometimes in light of what we say we believe.  


Ultimately, we need to remember the ridiculous gift we've been given in Christ and respond appropriately.  And saying that we just don't want to do what we know is right probably isn't the appropriate response.

Not so fun

21 days of prayer and fasting...I went into it totally stoked...posted on facebook that the next 3 weeks could be amazing.  But I've been forced to learn something that I should've already known.  Before you ask God for something to pray about, make sure you're ready for anything.  I really expected God to put some idea or dream in my mind that would force me to step out and do something in faith.  


Instead, the past week brought a boat-load of pain...kinda sucked to be honest.


But in that pain, I felt a true need to pray because I recognized that I was powerless.  I watched an amazing friend grieving because a close family member is nearing death.  All I could offer was sympathy and words, but I really believe that God can offer peace.  I saw some of the relationships I value most threatened and I had no way to fix anything.  I struggled with depression, anger, guilt and apathy this week but in everything I can say that I tried to 'pray through' the situations that surrounded me.


So yeah...I wanted God to give me some big awesome dream and instead I got a week that was not so fun.  But it's ok...think I remember somebody saying that it's about God and his plan...not about me.  That's really something that I think I'm learning more and more...that all this is about God.  We've done such a great job convincing ourselves that Jesus' life, death and resurrection were about bringing us to him.  Yet somehow we've ignored the fact that it wasn't ultimately about saving us...it was about God and making his name great.


But we can trust him in all of this...not necessarily to do what we want or even what is 'good' for us.  (Stop misusing Romans 8:28!)


We can always trust him to provide an opportunity to make much of him in everything.  We can trust him to allow us to take part in the beautiful song of life lived for something/someone bigger and better than us.  Makes me think about the lyrics to Derek Webb's song In God We Trust.  These lyrics especially hit me this week:


In God we trust...even when He fights us for someone else
In God we trust...even when He looks like the enemy


So my week was painful...but bring it.  In God I trust.

21 Days

So no...I cannot yet provide an itemized list of the God-sized dreams that I have for myself, my family, or the world at large.


But that's ok.


This week, our church started a series on The Circle Maker.  It was awesome that one of the first points that Mark (Batterson...our pastor) made was that the first objective of prayer is praying about what to pray about.  This point should seem pretty obvious.  But I think most of us have, at some point, sat down with a piece of paper and a pen and wrote down everything and everyone that we thought we should be praying about/for.  And then...if we had some specific time set aside for prayer...we took out that list and started reading it off to God.  Don't know about you, but about day 4 of that...while I'm 'praying'...I'm actually wondering if chipotle hot sauce would be good on hashbrown casserole (and yes, it's spectacular).  Then, when I realize what's going on, I start feeling guilty, then it just starts this spiral of blah, blah, blah.  It's just silly...


If I can't be passionate about my prayers, I should probably just shut my hole.


So anyway...tomorrow, our church is starting a 21-day period of prayer and fasting.  Apparently it's going to be an annual thing from now on...bring in the new year while trying to focus on God and what He wants for us as individuals and as a part of his body.  Good stuff...and I'm actually looking forward to it.  But I love that Mark didn't try to make it sound like it was going to be the most fun thing in the whole world...I love that he refused to make promises that God was going to give us exactly what we want...


That would be making it about us...and it's not.


So over the next few weeks, I'm going to pray about what to pray about.  I'm going to ask God to give me audacious desires and dreams that have the potential to make me look ridiculous if he doesn't step in.  I'm going to continue asking him to do amazing things in the people I'm most passionate about and give me new passions that fall more in line with Him.  I accept that I might not have any epiphanies or work any miracles before the end of the month, but those are God's job, not mine.


Abrupt ending...but that'll do.

New year...same old ramblings

This may be all over the place...but we'll see.  Have you ever felt like you get a thought or question or whatever in your head, and no matter what's going on, it keeps popping back up?  It's kind of annoying, and that's where I'm at right now...and I blame Mark Batterson.


For those that have no idea who Mark is, he's the pastor of our church in DC.  He recently released a book called The Circle Maker.  It's pretty awesome and thought provoking and all that so far...I'm only about half-way through it right now but I'd recommend it.  Anyway, the first major section of the book focuses on dreaming God-sized dreams (beyond our ability to fulfill) and praying specific prayers related to those dreams.  One idea that Mark emphasized really punched me in the gut.  He said "God isn't offended by big dreams; He's offended by anything less."  Later, he said "If you've never been overwhelmed by the impossibility of your plans, then your God is too small."  But really...how many of us can claim that we have dreams that are beyond our ability to fulfill on our own?  How many of us truly give credence to the idea that we can pray to God about things that are way beyond our means or ability and actually expect results?  It's sobering for me to realize that I (like many) believe that God created the universe with a thought and a word, while doubting that God takes an active role in doing amazing things in, through and for us.


Unfortunately, I think this lack of faith has impacted my ability to dream.  Most of us have become so self-reliant that we don't even begin to dream about things that we can't accomplish with the right amount of work, luck and/or money.  And ultimately, our dreaming becomes so stunted that we settle for extremely cheap satisfaction...extremely cheap ideas of success.  Donald Miller opens his book A Million Miles in a Thousand Years with the following: "If you watched a movie about a guy who wanted a Volvo and worked for years to get it, you wouldn't cry at the end when he drove off the lot, testing the windshield wipers.  You wouldn't tell your friends you saw a beautiful movie or go home and put a record on to think about the story you'd seen.  The truth is, you wouldn't remember that movie a week later, except you'd feel robbed and want your money back."  But how many of us have become so self-sustaining that we've settled for the dream of a Volvo, or a vacation home, or pick-your-own thing that eventually crumbles into nothing?  


So would we dream better dreams and pray more specific prayers if we weren't so capable of providing for our families and building security blankets (and I use the word security very lightly)?  Not sure I want the answer to that question...at least not in the applied sense...but that's just another example of my refusal to trust God completely.  A couple days ago, I finally watched a video that came out a while back...and of course it struck this same nerve.  You can watch the video HERE.  For those that don't want to watch a 15-minute awesome video, it's a breakdown of the Lord's prayer and a discussion of the fact that maybe we need to be more intentional and cautious with the words and attitude we bring to God.  In it, there's a discussion of how we say things that we don't even understand.  "If God just gave us our daily bread, many of us would be angry."  But I honestly believe that if we depended on God for our sustenance on a daily basis, most of us would dream better dreams...pray better prayers.  


So looking back on this, it's a bit all over the place, but there's no way I'm changing it now.  This weekend, many people made resolutions for the coming year...they set goals for themselves with confidence in their own ability to succeed (or try again next year).  I'm not a big fan of resolutions...but my goal for the rest of my life is to be a man that dreams God-sized dreams and prays persistently for God to work out His goals.  If he burns my security blankets to the ground, my goal is to depend completely on him through it all.  If he lets me keep them, I hope to use them up in a life serving my family and others.  I have no chance of succeeding in any of this on my own...so I guess we can call this my first God-sized dream.  


To finally finish this up, I'm stealing a Tozer quote from somebody else's blog (here's the link!)...


God is looking for people through whom He can do the impossible.  What a pity when we plan only the things we can do by ourselves.