21 days of prayer and fasting...I went into it totally stoked...posted on facebook that the next 3 weeks could be amazing. But I've been forced to learn something that I should've already known. Before you ask God for something to pray about, make sure you're ready for anything. I really expected God to put some idea or dream in my mind that would force me to step out and do something in faith.
Instead, the past week brought a boat-load of pain...kinda sucked to be honest.
But in that pain, I felt a true need to pray because I recognized that I was powerless. I watched an amazing friend grieving because a close family member is nearing death. All I could offer was sympathy and words, but I really believe that God can offer peace. I saw some of the relationships I value most threatened and I had no way to fix anything. I struggled with depression, anger, guilt and apathy this week but in everything I can say that I tried to 'pray through' the situations that surrounded me.
So yeah...I wanted God to give me some big awesome dream and instead I got a week that was not so fun. But it's ok...think I remember somebody saying that it's about God and his plan...not about me. That's really something that I think I'm learning more and more...that all this is about God. We've done such a great job convincing ourselves that Jesus' life, death and resurrection were about bringing us to him. Yet somehow we've ignored the fact that it wasn't ultimately about saving us...it was about God and making his name great.
But we can trust him in all of this...not necessarily to do what we want or even what is 'good' for us. (Stop misusing Romans 8:28!)
We can always trust him to provide an opportunity to make much of him in everything. We can trust him to allow us to take part in the beautiful song of life lived for something/someone bigger and better than us. Makes me think about the lyrics to Derek Webb's song In God We Trust. These lyrics especially hit me this week:
In God we trust...even when He fights us for someone else
In God we trust...even when He looks like the enemy
So my week was painful...but bring it. In God I trust.
Ok...I'm not big on commenting on blogs (especially my own)...but this is freaking awesome.
ReplyDeleteI just laid down to read a bit before bed and opened up 'The Circle Maker.' On the 2nd page I read, Mark talks about "the litmus test of trust." Here it is straight from the book:
"Do you trust that God is for you even when He doesn't give you what you asked for? Do you trust that He has reasons beyond your reason? Do you trust that His plan is better than yours?"
Swear I didn't plan this...but I love it.