So every now and then I get this urge to log in here and write a book-length discourse on whatever may be rattling around my mind. But then life catches up...work, family, whatever...and it's another week before I think about it again. But I had a few minutes, so...
If you scroll way down to a post from February of 2010, you can see that I joined with my church in a 'campaign to read through the Bible together.' Well...maybe not so much together...they set a pace and I lagged considerably behind. I did eventually finish a few months ago and I gotta say that I was left with a few very strong (if not very popular) impressions.
Just to get it started...I don't think I would want to hang out with Paul if he was around today. This guy stands out as somebody who had it together (after his conversion) and would tell you about it if you asked. David or Peter or Jonah I think I can relate to...these guys were normal. They showed everyone around them that while they followed God, they had the potential to fall completely off the wagon on a fairly regular basis. Paul...not so much...he's kind of annoying. So I appreciate the letters that Paul contributed to the Bible, but he would shake the church to its core if he was around today because we wouldn't know what to do with him.
So one section of Romans has been crushing my thoughts for a while. In one of his more frustrating paragraphs, Paul said: "I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. Now if I do what I do not want, I agree with the law, that it is good. So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells in me." So here's the kicker for me. I can say in all honesty that I don't do very many things that I don't want to do. And most of the things that I don't want to do at a specific moment yet do anyway are good and right things. And the flip side...the 'sin' that exists in my life is there because I want it there. I know there are great theological arguments about sin nature, and the process of growth and all that. And I know that in the grand scheme of things, I want to do right as an act of service to and love for God. But I can't remember a single time when I did something wrong without wanting to do it. I choose to put my money, my sexual appetite, my time, and whatever else in the place that should be occupied by God pretty regularly.
Now...the awesome thing...
He loves me anyway
