Best of Intentions

One of the people I consider a 'mentor' once said to me that I need to know my audience before I speak.  Those that know me (at all...well is not a requirement) have probably seen on multiple occasions that I have a tendency to say whatever is on my mind with very little filter.  Obviously, I think my words are so important that I couldn't possibly keep them to myself (did you hear I have a blog?  click here!).  Even when I do choose to filter myself a bit, I tend to be blunt and a little tactless.  That being said...I can honestly say that it's extremely rare when I intentionally say something hurtful (although I'm sure Sara can list a few times).  However, I've been forced to learn again and again that the best of intentions go only so far.  

So I'm guessing that I'm not the only one that struggles with knowing the right thing to say to the right people at the right time.  And one of the worst times to have a bout of verbal stupidity is when people are struggling with tragedy in their lives.  A few years back, some friends of ours lost a child.  One of the hardest conversations I've had with Kate is when I tried to explain to her that just because Jesus rose in 3 days didn't mean that this child would be back in a few days.  But when it came to my interactions with our grieving friends, I can honestly say I failed...I disengaged because I didn't know what to say or do.  It would've been nice to have some kind of guidance on what should or shouldn't be said or done.  Our friend Erica McNeal just published an e-book addressing this issue...it's a quick read with some great advice for when loved ones are dealing with some of the worst situations.  You can get more info HERE.  

Anyway, to bring it back to the whole words words words line of thought, there was one bit in Erica's book that really hit me as a nugget that I need to consider (although I'm going to take her a bit out of context).  She said we should ask ourselves "Am I the most appropriate person to say what I think needs to be said?"  This is a concept that I struggle with almost daily.  I have an almost undeniable need sometimes to 'tell the truth' as I see it...even if it wasn't asked for.  So maybe I need to work on that (as my boss told me today...ouch!).  Maybe all of us need to consider our words, timing AND audience before we speak.  

Maybe I need to think about Ephesians 4:29 more - "Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear."